I move, I grow, I pass through parts of life that I probably could have gone without. And suddenly I have morals! When my old friend told me that I've changed since I left, I didn't believe him. I feel the same, I look the same...nothing's different. But now, I'm starting to see and feel what he meant. I have changed. I'm falling in love with the things that make me happy now. I'm not sad now. I don't feel like I should always have a reason to be mad. And...I feel like there's this fake innocence (or is it real) creeping through me. Blood and gore isn't 'neat' to me now. It's icky. And I've started using words like icky rather than my usual vocabulary of vulgar 4-letter words. I randomly actually noticed that a lot of the 'art' on this page is porn and I wouldn't be surprised if people used it as such. Even some of the literature... And I know that it is art, but it still makes me feel a little sick. (Not that I'm like complaining about other's stuff. It's just an observation, I swear) I'm finding myself having innocent little thoughts and daydreams about a boy I just met. Thinking about taking things slow for once rather than rushing to 16th base, considering a relationship. Is it strange that I've never really done that before? It feels really nice...This sudden change toward innocence and actual thought of all this makes me feel more...more human. It makes me feel more alive and well than I have in a good many years. I'm really liking this!

Anyway, off of the subject of my feelings. I got a job a couple of weeks ago! I now work at Harkin's Theatre and I just got done working an 11-hour shift, covering two people's asses on the way! I love my job! Also, as I mentioned, I met a wonderful boy and I think I'm falling for him very slightly. He's possibly the sweetest, most darling man I've ever even met and I'm so grateful that I met him! He gives me butterflies every time he calls me beautiful or asks me on yet another date. (Sunday will be our second 'real' date and I'm So excited! He's the first person to ever even bother asking me to go on a date!) *Sigh* ANNYYway, again...






Eff. I can't remember what I was going to write...